


kiss me before you go

by sunandmoons



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Death!Jeno, I'm Sorry, Jeno is the only immortal, Jeno is whipped, M/M, future hyuckmin???, human!jaemin, just read and it'll make sense, lots of deaths, mark and chenle and jisung make short appearances, sad fic, theyre barely there
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-09
Updated: 2018-12-09
Packaged: 2019-09-14 14:00:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16914186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunandmoons/pseuds/sunandmoons
Summary: Jeno is an angel of death, and Jaemin is just a human.





	kiss me before you go

Na Jaemin was six years old when Lee Jeno had first met him.

They both stood in Jaemin’s grandmothers house, by her bed, as the old woman took her last few breaths. Her family members were gathered around her dying figure, holding hands and bidding their farewells. Jaemin was among them, not really understanding what was happening. He was too young to understand.  
Jeno didn’t pay much attention to the younger, he was there to do his job and then to leave, as he had always done. Jeno was well used to getting the job done and swiftly leaving, before heading off to his next destination. He had been doing it for years, after all. 

This time however, was very, very different.

Jeno had let his eyes wander around the room, to look at the people who loved the kind old woman very much. Then his eyes fell upon Jaemin. Young, innocent Jaemin, whose eyes were also on Jeno.

Jeno didn’t think much of it, thinking the child probably wasn’t even looking at him, but rather past him. His thoughts soon shifted when Jaemin lifted his hand and waved at Jeno.  
You see, Jeno had been doing this for years, coming to the dying and taking their spirits to the reaper, who then sends the spirit on to whatever was waiting for them after they die. All he had to do, was kiss the person dying and the person finally took their last breath, before leaving the body. He possessed the kiss of death. And in all his years of work, no one had ever seen him. 

Until now.

Jeno blinked a few times in surprise, before pulling himself together in order to carry out his task. He leaned forward and gently pressed his lips to the woman’s head, and watched as she took her last breath, before her soul left her body. 

The next few minutes consisted of tears, and her family kissing her goodbye before they all left the room, probably to call the funeral home and arrange the wake and funeral. Jaemin had stayed in the room, eyes focused on Jeno. 

Jeno approached the young boy and knelt in front of him, before asking him softly, “can you see me?”

Jaemin had nodded in response. 

“How is this possible… I don’t understand,” Jeno whispered to himself. He would have to ask the reaper, or other people he knew. 

“Why did you kiss my granny? It made my family upset,” Jaemin asked Jeno. Jeno bit his lip upon hearing his question, he didn’t exactly know how to tell a child he had kissed his grandmother, so she would finally die, it wasn’t in the job description. 

“I helped her to move on to a better place. Your family will be sad for a little while, but they’ll get better,” Jeno stated. “But you cannot tell them about me.”

“Why?”

Jeno sighed, “because no one is supposed to see me, not even you. Your parents can’t know I was here.”

“Why can I see you?”  
“I don’t know.” 

“Why can’t my parents know?”  
“I- They just can’t.” 

“Why- “  
“Look,” Jeno cut him off, starting to feel frustrated. “Kid, I don’t have time to sit here and answer all your questions.” 

“Sorry…” Jaemin mumbled, his lips forming into a pout. Seeing this, Jeno’s face had softened. He was never great at dealing with children.  
“No, it’s… it’s fine. I’m sorry for snapping. What’s your name, kid?”

“Jaemin. Na Jaemin,” Jaemin’s eyes began sparkling again, the pout leaving his face. “What’s yours?”  
“Lee Jeno. My name is Lee Jeno.” 

“It’s nice to meet you, Jeno,” Jaemin giggled, and Jeno and replied the same to him. Jaemin was about to speak again but a woman had called for him, probably his mother.  
“It’s time I leave, Jaemin. Someone is calling for you too. You should go to her.” 

“Okay…” Jaemin had turned to leave and Jeno stood up from his crouching position, his long, black coat falling down around his ankles. “Your clothes are funny, mister Jeno.”  
Jeno cracked a smile at this, looking down at his attire. Under his coat he wore a black top, and black jeans which were tucked into black boots. He also wore a black hat, which was sitting on a chair by the bed. 

“My clothes are funny, aren’t they? Now run along, Jaemin. I have to get going.” 

“Goodbye,” Jaemin waved before he ran out of the room. 

Jeno stood in the room for a few moments more, his head spinning after his encounter. It had been hundreds of years since he had last spoken to a human, let alone a child.  
Jeno turned on his heels, grabbed his hat and with one last glance at the door Jaemin had left through, Jeno disappeared. 

 

The next time Jeno met Jaemin, Jaemin was eleven years old.

It was in the hospital, the day Jaemin’s father passed away. He was forty-nine years old and was a victim of a terrible car accident which claimed the lives of six people. It was a busy day for Jeno. His lips had touched the foreheads of five people that day, and he now stood in the room of a man who was alone. He had managed to live for seven hours after the accident, but his body was weak and in pain. It was his time to pass on. 

A woman entered the room, holding a coffee and the hand of a boy. Na Jaemin. 

Jeno had thought of Jaemin a lot since their encounter years ago. He had asked others why Jaemin was able to see him, but they all answered the same. They were just as confused as Jeno, but old of his elders, Moon Taeil, had promised to look into it.

Jaemin and Jeno locked eyes, and Jeno gave him a weak smile, a smile of pity. Jaemin’s eyes were red, he was older now, he understood the concept of death. Jaemin gave him a nod in return, which surprised Jeno. Jaemin had expected Jaemin to tell him off, after all, he was here to end his father’s life.  
But Jaemin understood. 

Jaemin closed his eyes and Jeno took this as a signal to do his job. He removed his hat before stepping forward and leaning down, pressing his lips to the man’s head. Jaemin’s father was gone. 

The monitor began beeping fast, before it eventually fell into a flatline, allowing Jaemin and the woman – probably his mother – to know he had passed on. Choking on a sob, Jaemin’s mother kissed the man’s hand before leaving the room, Jeno assumed she was going to get a doctor, leaving Jeno and Jaemin alone. 

“I’m sorry,” Jeno began, setting his hat on his head again. 

“You helped him,” Jaemin whispered, so softly that Jeno almost didn’t hear him. “That’s what you told me before. It’s okay, Jeno.”

Jeno didn’t know what else to say, so they stood in silence for a few short moments before Jaemin spoke up again.

“I didn’t tell anyone about you.” 

Jeno met his eyes and gave the boy a small smile, before thanking him. 

Jaemin opened his mouth to speak again before hesitating, and Jeno watched him patiently. Jaemin was older now, he probably had more questions for Jeno.  
“Where… where did my dad go?” 

Jeno stared at the boy for a few moments, trying to think of a response, but he ended up settling for the truth. 

“I don’t know,” he started, watching the boy carefully. “That part isn’t my job. I just- I just take their life, I put them out of their misery. They go to my boss, who then sends them on. I don’t know what happens after, I’m sorry.” 

“If you ever find out, can you tell me?” 

“Yeah, I will. I promise.”

The hospital door opened and Jaemin’s mother returned with a doctor. Jeno and Jaemin locked eyes for a few seconds, before Jeno waved at the boy, letting him know he had to leave. Jaemin gave Jeno a small smile, his eyes watering before he turned around to hug his mother, and together they both mourned for their loss.  
Jeno closed his eyes and left before he had time to feel upset. Jeno wasn’t supposed to get upset. When Jaemin turned to look at Jeno, Jeno was gone. Despite being young, Jaemin knew he would see Jeno again. 

 

Jaemin was right, the pair had met many more times throughout their life. The next time Jeno and Jaemin met was when Jaemin was nineteen years old. He was now the same age as Jeno. Well, Jeno was a couple of hundred years older, but his body remained nineteen years old. 

This time, it was Jaemin’s friend who was dying. Huang Renjun. They had met when they were thirteen years old, Renjun being a transfer student from China and Jaemin, being the kind, welcoming kid he was, welcome Renjun with a warm smile.

Renjun was sick, from a young age he had always known he wouldn’t live a long life. He would live a happy life, but not a long one. His time came when he was nineteen years old, at the end of the year and nearing Christmas. Jeno hated this time of year, it was supposed to be the season of joy, he hated taking people away from their families. Taking Renjun away from his family and friends almost brought tears to Jeno’s eyes. Especially when Jaemin refused to meet his eyes the day in the hospital. 

With a shaky breath, Jeno leaned down and whispered, “I’m sorry,” to Renjun before pressing his lips to his forehead. Renjun died not even a second later. Renjun’s friends and family surrounded him, and he felt so much love in the room. He knew Renjun felt it too, because he felt Renjun’s happiness, something that he had only begin to experience a year ago. He felt the emotions of the people passing for a few seconds before it was gone. Sometimes it was relief, sometimes anger and sadness, but most of the time, it was happiness. 

Jeno didn’t stick around the hospital for long, because Jaemin still wouldn’t look at him. 

The night that Renjun died, the city of Seoul fell silent for a few hours, no deaths, no injuries. Jeno had a few hours to rest, but he took this time to visit Jaemin in his own home. He wasn’t sure if he was even allowed to do it, but Jeno decided he didn’t care and went to do it anyway. He sort of saw Jaemin as a friend, seeing as Jaemin was the first and only human to see him in centuries, and Jeno felt the need to apologise for earlier. 

He appeared in Jaemin’s room, the clock on his bedside table flashing 9:15 PM and he found Jaemin sitting on his bed, on his phone with red eyes. Jeno’s sudden appearance startled Jaemin, and Jaemin had to refrain from screaming until he realised it was only Jeno. 

“Please,” Jaemin began slowly. “Please don’t tell me you’re here to take someone else. Not today. Please tell me you’re not here for my mother.” 

“No, I’m not here for your mother.” 

“Are you here for… me?” 

“No, Jaemin,” Jeno smiled slightly before he realised Jaemin was still looking at him expectantly. “I wanted to see if you were okay? To say I’m sorry, for earlier.”  
Jaemin was silent, and he turned his head to look away from Jeno. 

“You’re angry,” Jeno stated. 

“No,” Jaemin said. “I was. Earlier on, in the hospital, I was. Not at you, I was just angry in general. It just isn’t fair, he was so young. Renjun was kind and talented. He deserved a longer life. But then you came in and I knew… that was it. Renjun’s life was over. But it isn’t your fault, it’s your job.” 

Jeno was silent, once again he didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know if he should be relieved, because Jaemin wasn’t angry at him, because at the same time he wanted Jaemin to be angry. Jeno had taken the life of his best friend, Jaemin should be angry at him. Maybe then he wouldn’t feel so guilty. 

“Jeno?” Jaemin whispered. “Please don’t think it’s your fault.” 

“Jaemin… how can you say that? After all the lives I’ve taken, people who you love and care for?” 

“You told me when we first met that you help them. Can you explain what you meant?”

“When humans are born, they are immediately set with a date that they die. In the moments of their death, their body feels weak and… I think they feel pain. Death is painful, no matter what way we die… there’s always pain. The sooner I show up the quicker I can relieve them of their pain. That’s what my boss told me, anyway.” 

“See, Jeno. You help people. You took my grandmother’s pain, my father’s pain and Renjun’s pain away. Renjun hates feeling weak, so I have a feeling he’s thankful for you. Don’t blame yourself.” 

Jeno took a seat at Jaemin’s desk before asking him, “how can you be so forgiving?” 

At this, Jaemin smiled before replying, “I’d rather live a happy life with no grudges. Especially with the man who will probably be the one to take my life in the future.”  
Upon hearing this, Jeno’s heart dropped slightly but he smiled nonetheless. 

“Jaemin, tell me about Renjun.” 

For the next hour, Jeno listened to Jaemin talk about his best friend. Jaemin laughed, cried and smiled as he recounted all the stories that he and Renjun had made throughout the last few years. It made Jeno wish he was human again, it made him wish he were friends with Renjun and Jaemin. He envied them and their friendship, and their life.  
By the time Jaemin finished, he had tears running down his cheeks, but a large smile accompanied them. Jeno grabbed the tissues sitting on Jaemin’s desk and walked over to his bed and sat down, taking a tissue and wiped Jaemin’s tears. 

“He sounded amazing.” 

“He was my best friend, I loved him. I just hope he knows.”

“He does, I felt it.” 

This made Jaemin cry a little bit more, and Jeno wanted to hug him. So, he did. He hugged Jaemin and Jaemin hugged him back. It was the first human contact he had in years and it felt good. He felt human again. 

“Jeno, how did this happen to you? How did you become… this?” 

Jeno smiled sadly and pulled away from Jaemin. Jeno doesn’t remember his past life very much, however this was the one thing he could remember vividly, as much as he didn’t want to. 

“I was wrongfully murdered. There are a few people who die at the wrong time, and I was one of those people. When I met the reaper, my boss, he took me to fate. Fate offered me another chance, who offered me immortality,” Jeno paused and looked at Jaemin, who was watching him intently, waiting for him to continue. “I was told I would help people, that it was a blessing.”

“Wasn’t it?” 

“At first, yes. I helped people, and I thought it was great, having eternal life and everything. But then my family… my friends and my family began dying. I was the one to take them. They couldn’t see me, and I had to take their life. It began to seem like a curse then. I wanted to quit, I wanted to stop living the life of an immortal. I wanted to die, to join my family but when I asked, fate refused.” 

“Is there anything you can do? To get out of it?”

“No,” Jeno smiled sadly. “Not that I know of. This is my life now, I guess I’m stuck like this forever.” 

“That… that isn’t fair, Jeno!” Jaemin had tears in his eyes again and it made Jeno feel something, he felt warm, knowing that someone was crying for him. 

 

“Fate is cruel, Jaemin. Very, very cruel.” 

Jeno stayed for another hour and thirty minutes, talking to Jaemin about anything and everything. His job, how he only dealt with people who died in Seoul and how there were more angels of death. How when people died, they had the choice to choose the age they want to be when they move on to whatever was waiting for them after death, but most people chose to stay the same age. Jaemin found it all very interesting. Jaemin was easy to talk to, someone Jeno felt comfortable opening up to. He felt like he had known Jaemin for his whole life, he felt connected to him, Jaemin was special to him, despite only meeting him three times in his whole life. 

That night, when Jaemin fell asleep, Jeno admired how beautiful and kind Jaemin had become throughout the years. He found himself smiling before he was pulled out of his trance, being signalled that he had to return to his never-ending job. With one last glance at Jaemin’s sleeping figure, Jeno left. This time Jeno knew he would meet Jaemin again, and he looked forward to it. 

 

For two years, Jeno and Jaemin did not see each other. Jeno was kept busy giving kisses of death and Jeno assumed Jaemin had started university. Jeno missed Jaemin, and Jaemin found himself missing Jeno. 

It was a quiet day for Jeno and he had decided he wanted to go see Jaemin, however Moon Taeil stopped him before he could leave.

Moon Taeil was one of his elders, who also died before his time and he made the same deal with fate. Taeil was Jeno’s favourite. Taeil carried a lot of knowledge, and when he didn’t know something, he would look into it and wouldn’t stop until he found the answer. Jeno had asked him years ago why Jaemin could see him.  
“Soulmates,” Taeil told him that day. “You and Jaemin are connected, that’s why he can see you. It’s very rare, the concept of soulmates, especially between a human and an immortal. Your case is even more rare, with you and Jaemin being born in different centuries. I’m sorry, Jeno.” 

Jeno didn’t go visit Jaemin that day. 

 

Jaemin was twenty-five when Jeno seen him again. This time, Jeno was not there to take anyone away from Jaemin. There was a bad accident, involving a bus of civilians and Jeno was there to take away the people who died on impact. He caught sight of Jaemin, who had blood covering him. Jaemin was on the bus, but thankfully he was one of the few who made it out alive. Jeno almost cried tears of joy when he seen Jaemin was okay. 

Jaemin watched him go around all the people who needed to move on and approached him when Jeno was finished.  
“You haven’t been around. I miss you,” Jaemin said. 

“I miss you too, Jaemin. I miss you- “ 

“Jaemin! Oh my god, Jaemin! Thank god you’re okay,” a younger boy shouted whilst running up to Jaemin. The boy was followed by three others. 

“Jisung, I’m fine. Ouch, don’t hug me so hard, that hurts!”  
“Jaemin, come on. There’s an ambulance over here- “  
“Wait, Chenle- “  
“We were so worried, Jaemin. We seen it was your bus on the news and Donghyuck burst into tears. He assumed the worst- I mean we all did but thank god you’re okay.”  
“I-I’m fine, Mark- Donghyuck please stop crying, I’m fine.” 

Jaemin turned to Jeno, who was putting his hat on.  
“You’re leaving?”  
“What? None of us are leaving, Jaemin. Who are you looking at? Oh god, maybe he hit his head or something- “  
Jeno and Jaemin stopped listening to the crying boy, Donghyuck, and Jeno nodded.  
“I have to get to the hospital. I promise, I’ll see you as soon as I can.” 

With that, Jeno disappeared leaving Jaemin with his worried friends. 

 

Jeno stayed true to his word, and he made the effort to visit Jaemin when he had the time. The pair grew to know more about each other, and Jeno had to watch Jaemin grow older and older every day. Jaemin studied medicine in university for many years, and when he graduated, he became a doctor. He told Jeno that he became a doctor to help people, and so he could also see Jeno even more. They did see each other often in the hospital where Jaemin worked, but they didn’t get to speak much. Sometimes Jaemin cried when Jeno came to take one of his patients, and Jeno yearned to reach out and hold him.  
He didn’t. 

Jeno met Jaemin for many, many years and they stayed close friends. Jeno listened when Jaemin told him about his life and everything that had been going on. Jeno always loved listening to Jaemin’s life, it made him happy. The only time he felt sad was when Jaemin told Jeno that he and Donghyuck had started dating, and that Jaemin loved Donghyuck very much. Jeno smiled and told Jaemin he was very happy for him, and he was. 

Jeno grew to love Jaemin, but he knew they couldn’t be together. If being with Donghyuck made Jaemin happy, then Jeno was happy.  
Jeno cried the day Jaemin told him he and Donghyuck were getting married, but he didn’t let Jaemin see him cry. He also never told Jaemin they were soulmates. He couldn’t.  
Jeno lingered around on the day of Jaemin’s wedding. Jaemin looked beautiful, as did Donghyuck. He recognised some of the faces, such as Jaemin and Donghyuck’s friends who he saw the day of the bus accident, Jisung, Chenle and Mark. They were all crying. Jeno made sure Jaemin didn’t see him that day.

Eventually, Jeno came to take more members of Jaemin’s family, Donghyuck’s family, and other people that Jaemin knew. Jaemin grew stronger and stronger each time someone passed and Jeno was proud of him. Although he wished Jaemin would cry too, it was okay to mourn. 

Jeno came for Mark when Mark was forty-one years old. He was stabbed whilst trying to break up a fight and was killed almost instantly. Mark went peacefully. Mark chose the age of twenty, he thought it was the best year of his life.

Chenle and Jisung grew old together, they both married other people despite loving each other. They never confessed their true feelings for one another, which upset Jeno. Jisung was the second of the group to go, he fell sick at an old age and when Jeno kissed his forehead, he felt Jisung leave with regret. Regret for not telling Chenle how he really felt. Jisung chose the age of sixteen, the age he was when he and Chenle shared a shy kiss with each other, claiming they both wanted to have their first kiss with someone they cared about.

Chenle felt the same emotion when he passed over, he also died of old age, but he also went with happiness. Jeno thought that Chenle was always happy, and he lived his whole life with as much happiness as he could. Chenle chose to stay the age.

Donghyuck died of heart disease at the age of seventy-eight, Jeno sat with Jaemin for a few moments as Jaemin said his goodbyes before he told Jeno to do it. Jeno kissed Donghyuck’s cheek and whispered a thank you, for looking after Jaemin, for loving Jaemin and treating him the way he did. He knew Donghyuck heard, and when he died, Jeno felt so much warmth, love and happiness. Donghyuck’s age was twenty two, the age he met Jaemin.

 

Na Jaemin was ninety-three years old when Lee Jeno came to take his life. He had lived past his mother, who died at the age of eighty-eight and he outlived all his friends. When Jeno heard that Na Jaemin was the next person on his list, he began to cry and Taeil had to comfort him. When he stopped, he made his way to Jaemin.  
It was a dark and rainy day in Seoul, and Na Jaemin lay in his bed. He was an old man who lived a long and happy life, a few accidents and fights here and there but he lived happily nonetheless, and with so much love. He had no grudges and no regrets.  
“Lee Jeno,” Na Jaemin spoke weakly. “It’s finally my turn.”

Jeno once again, began to cry. He sat beside Na Jaemin and cried for what seemed like hours. Jaemin stayed silent and reached out to grab his hand, and kept whispering, telling Jeno it was okay and that he was ready.

Jeno wasn’t ready. 

“I- I can’t…” Jeno sobbed, clutching onto Jaemin’s hand. He didn’t want to do this, he felt so broken. This was the moment Jeno was dreading the moment he realised he was in love with Na Jaemin, and it came around all too fast. 

“You can, Jeno. You need to,” Jaemin told him. “You’re going to be okay.” 

Jaemin was crying too, he was trying not to, but he ended up crying anyway. They cried together for a little while, before they eventually gathered themselves and stopped.  
“I need to tell you something, Na Jaemin. I can’t let you leave without telling you this,” Jeno whispered. Jaemin nodded and motioned for Jeno to continue, and so Jeno told Jaemin that they were soulmates. He told him about Taeil and his discoveries, and how Jeno had come to love Jaemin. He told Jaemin about the amount of love he carried for him. 

“That’s why I could see you,” Jaemin stated, when Jeno finished. 

“Yes. That’s why,” 

Jaemin told Jeno that he had loved him too, for the longest time. 

“Maybe in another universe, we’re together and in love,” Jaemin said. “Maybe we’re both human, or maybe we’re both immortals. I wouldn’t care, as long as we could be together.”  
“And we’re stuck here in the worst universe,” Jeno said. 

Jaemin smiled softly and whispered, “fate is cruel, Lee Jeno. Very, very cruel.”

A few seconds passed before Jeno finally gathered the courage to say, “I think it’s time.”

Jaemin and Jeno both closed their eyes, and Jeno took a deep breath before opening them. A smile spread out across his face and tears prickled at his eyes when he found himself staring down at a nineteen-year-old Jaemin, as opposed to the older Jaemin. This Jaemin had a warm smile on his face, his skin was glowing as if the sun was gleaming down on him and he looked beautiful. 

"Did you ever find out what happens after death?" Jaemin asked. 

Jeno didn't, he told Jaemin this but assured him that for him, it would be something beautiful.

“I love you, Na Jaemin,” Jeno whispered as he leaned down. 

“And I love you, Lee Jeno,” Jaemin said before closing his eyes, a smile still on his young face. 

Jeno gently pressed his lips to Jaemin’s lips and gave him the softest kiss he could. It lasted for two seconds before Jeno pulled away. 

“Goodbye, Jaemin,” Jeno whispered. Jaemin gave one last breath, his soul leaving his body. Lying on the bed was the older body of Jaemin, but Jaemin was no longer there. When Jeno stood up and put his hat on, he felt a lot of love, happiness and relief fill his body. Jaemin was happy, happier than Jeno could even imagine. 

Jeno did not cry again, no, he smiled instead. A small smile spread across his face before he disappeared.

**Author's Note:**

> aaaand finished!! this was. an experience anyway, maybe i even cried???? (i definitely did) bUT i hope you enjoyed <3  
> there might be mistakes, i didnt read over it T-T 
> 
> leave comments though!!! lemme know what u think!
> 
> my twitter is cities__127 if u wanna follow!!! talk to me also hehe mwah love u all


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